Michelle Fields Denied

Prosecutors in Florida declined to charge Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski with violently almost kind of touching a female Breitbart news reporter. Michelle Fields and her claims of being assaulted after a Trump campaign event dominated the news in March. Men across the nation sympathetically masturbated to thoughts of Fields’ enormous reporter tits. The prosecutor in Florida noted that Fields had been told to stay back by the Secret Service, but disobeyed their order and bolted forward next to Trump contacting his lightly mildew smelling body. The DA concluded it was entirely defensible that Lewandowski yanked Fields back since she was violating Secret Service security instructions.

Charges being dropped almost made it to Page 47 of several small town newspapers. MSNBC announced it at 3:05 am in a hushed whisper easily drowned out by Rachel Maddow’s butch loudly stimulating her nipples. Trump is solid part self-satisfied anus. Lewandowski may very well be his go-to prick and handled this matter in super shitty fashion. But there’s some obligation to cover a man’s acquittal with gusto approximating his accuser’s charges. Megyn Kelly cried while interviewing Michelle Fields. Lewnadowski’s named doesn’t lend itself to a Peter Gabriel song like Biko. He should settle for five minutes of unrestricted motorboating. That’s sexist. So is a female reporter garnering national attention for having her arm grabbed momentarily during a chaotic campaign procession.

Photo credit: Fox News