Madison Beer Comes Prepared

High school used to be the place where a small number of slutty chicks in tight tank tops ruled the roost. All the boys would whisper ‘Brandy’ and ‘Karen’ like mystical incantations while cumming into their sheets. Now it’s every single girl desperate for social media likes. The chess club girls are shooting down their tops. Brandy and Karen fade into the background like the one guy in the office who knew how to properly install Windows ’95 before all the Chinese and Indians IT arrived on H1B visas. Madison Beer is the chick that Justin Bieber gave instant fame on Twitter calling her a rising star. He can’t fuck her until she turns eighteen next year so consider it a selfless act. You don’t need to tell these chicks to flash their big cans and ass to get more famous. They were raised on The Kardashians. This is our nation’s primary point of excellence. If we ever run out of tits we’re fucked.

Photo Credit: Splash