Kim Kardashian Geo-Political Porn Star

Azerbaijan is in that region of Eurasia that no one really knows or gives a shit about unless they’re bauxite speculators. Borders change weekly, corrupt mustachioed officials scream at each other in non-HD video clips, and the West cares only if there’s a possible disruption of black crude. There is currently a tenuous ceasefire between Azerbaijan and neighboring Armenia over disputed territory. This after four days of fighting that I bet you didn’t know about. 

Armenian embarrassment Kim Kardashian chimed in about the territorial conflict by repeating something her handlers saw on Wikipedia. Elin Suleymanov, Azerbaijan’s ambassador to the US, told Kardashian to stick to what she knows best: being a vapid whore who’d fuck a raccoon for a cone of sherbet:

She’s very famous and beloved by her fans, but matters of war and peace are a little too serious for a reality-TV star. I personally would be a very bad reality-TV star, so I try not to cross into areas I’m not familiar. I’m not sure Ms. Kardashian is a military or political analyst, so maybe we should all do what we do best.

Leave it to an ambassador even from a shitty sooty nation to find the right words to tell Kim Kardashian to fuck off. Dropping a bomb might help punctuate your position. The GPS coordinates are penned onto the wall of the third stall over in the 1OAK men’s room.  Consider yourselves granted a hall pass. Like the rest of the world, we’re ambiguous about Armenians dying.

Photo credit: Kim Kardashian / Instagram