Katy Perry Gets Her Convent

Katy Perry has managed to make a shit ton of money without ever showing her tits, not once, not ever. That should please the nuns, but it hasn’t. The Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary who I believe once opened for Pantera, declined to sell their Los Feliz convent property to Katy Perry. Even after Perry proved to them her parents were Christian missionaries who had said tons of bad shit about the Jews.

The sisters had a separate deal worked out with a restaurant company to buy the foothill digs for fifteen million. Perry offered up similar cash so she could build an epic mansion and massive storage tanks filled with acne cream. Perry’s attorneys worked with the Archdiocese to block the nuns restaurant deal and pave the way for her acquisition. The nuns are pissed. Or more aptly, showing signs of stoic displeasure. Either way they’re getting a fat escrow check that should keep them in fur lined habits for years to come. The power of prayer is no match for Katy Perry. This is why you keep working with Dr. Luke, even after the first three rapes.

Photo credit: L.A. Times