Beyonce Fans Lousy With the Rage

Beyonce released her Lemonade album via an HBO special over the weekend. The songs, written by Beyonce  with an assist from sixty-seven of her literate music industry friends listed in four-point font in the credits, focused heavily on angry songs about marital infidelity. It can’t feel good to be the husband in that situation, just trying to fuck your side chick on a Saturday night and flipping on HBO to see your wife threatening you with a baseball bat via power ballad. Meta. When you marry a dude who has paternity suits pending in all fifty states and Puerto Rico, shit like this might arise. Beyonce fans flipped with news that the rooster was fucking other hens. By the manyfold they initiated a social media witch hunt complete with death threats in search of the ‘Becky with the good hair’ Beyonce sang about as the source of Jay Z’s wandering. No mention of Jay Z’s ball sac as even a minor accomplice. Pop music feminism is a practical ideology.

Beyonce’s emotionally disturbed mob swarmed upon Rachel Roy, a fashion designer once married to Jay Z’s business partner Damon Dash. Beyonce fans aren’t so good with the letters and numbers and things and accidentally set about to attack chubby middle aged TV Food Network star Rachel Ray. Imagine waking up to find all your foodie sycophants replaced by murderous hordes of dudes desperate to matriculate to out of state college where they can openly suck dick. The mob who couldn’t shoot straight circled back to Rachel Roy who’s been forced to cancel all public appearances this week for fear of being strung up in the town square.

Rita Ora, who used to be signed to Jay Z’s label, posted a photo of her tits covered in a ‘lemon’ bra’ and a ‘J’ necklace signaling to the crazies that she actually might be the other woman. Beyonce fans posted crude message to her social media accounts. Which is almost certainly what she wanted. In the land of the impassioned uneducated, the two-titted self-promoter is queen. An odd but certain victory for everybody involved. Including Jay Z who almost certainly came up with the infidelity album idea and laughed with his wife about how much money they make off stupid people. Fair enough. I bet they know precisely how much.

Photo credit: Rita Ora/Snapchat