Obama Blesses Chrissy Teigen’s Unborn Child

On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Teigen casually reported that President Obama approved of her baby name. That is sort of a mystery. What the hell is Chrissy Teigen doing on a late night talk show? Oh, right, name dropping the President and her husband. If that didn’t work she was going to show America how she can deal a hand of Texas Hold ’em out of her vagina. That I’d DVR. 

The baby Legend name will be terrible. The couple put a lot of time and money into spinning the shit out of sperm to create a daughter The name selection will be far less scientific. What will get us attention? Meaning me, Chrissy. John has that music career whereas people tired of my Eurasian clam years ago. I have nothing save this baby. I built her. I name her. If you’re laying 5-2 odds on Aristophanes Kardashian Legend you’re probably walking away with some winnings. Though not your dignity. Chrissy Teigen baby name games are beneath you. Not so much The President.

Photo credit: Chrissy Teigen / Instagram