Miranda Kerr Seems Like a Good Planner

Miranda Kerr has been dating the rich kid who invented Snapchat and became a shit ton richer. Evan Spiegel’s twenty-five and already plowed his way through a few models and a half-dozen first dates with Taylor Swift. Billionaires are the new millionaires. All the girls want one. Miranda Kerr finally got permission from Spiegel’s bank account to publish social media pictures of the two together. She loves him because he’s so mature for his age:

He’s 25, but he acts like he’s 50. He’s not out partying. He goes to work in Venice Beach. He comes home. We don’t go out. We’d rather be at home and have dinner, go to bed early.

So now you live together? This is moving fast. Did somebody remember to board the kid at the kennel for the weekend? None of this makes any sense but at least she didn’t say he has a great sense of humor. Losing your husband and your Victoria’s Secret paycheck puts a woman in certain frame of mind. Partying is for the guys who aren’t fucking supermodels in the ass.