Katie Holmes Sagging to Gomorrah

Tom Cruise looks like a fabulous million waxed dollars. Katie Holmes looks like it’s time to activate the phone tree of friends to come say their final goodbyes. You can’t even tell which one leads the far higher risk HIV life. It’s likely Cruise reached the top of the ziggurat and obtained Xenu’s book of black magic. He may be consuming Holmes’ life force. Or just convincing her the no-bra look is popular. The hellhounds arrive next week to protect Suri. Consider undergarments before leaping to your death. Defenestration will not make those things firmer.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI