Emma Watson Breathing New Life into Global Feminism (VIDEO)

Ever since Emma Watson was tapped with the title of UN Ambassador for all things super important for women, you just knew she was going to being a new vibrancy to the gratuitous position. Watson has been touring the world of New York and London posh hotels espousing the need for equality among men and women, minus those parts where men work for fifty years, get prostate cancer, and die before they can ever go marlin fishing. Watson developed the He for She campaign which focuses on how men can support world wide feminism. The participation has been really low, consisting mainly of lying college dudes trying to get some.

In her latest endeavor, Emma Watson hooked up with Lin-Manuel Miranda, the Puerto Rican toast of Broadway. You need only look at the man-bun to know where Miranda falls on the Soft-Serv consistency chart. Emma Watson employs her acting skills to pretend she’s aghast that she’s about to beatbox for Miranda who agrees to freestyle rap about feminism. If anything is going to solve systemic rape of Christian girls in Nigeria by Boko Haram or get Jennifer Lawrence that backend five million on her next ditzy but surprisingly strong female character it’s a freestyle rap.

Rich people with good intentions have the worst ideas. The greatest atrocities to women in this world are under the guise of Sharia law, something unmentioned by Watson during her entire tenure. Beatbox at the Plaza all you like. Discuss the heinousness of girls being gifted dolls for their fourth birthday instead of Tonka trucks. You look fabulous and your giggle is super charming. You did more than the last chick. Hang the plaque on the mantle and move on. There are galas to be planned.