Elizabeth Turner Tits in Context

Elizabeth Turner had to exist so nobody could again say nothing good ever came out of Duke University. She’s a Guess Girl. Which means thrice a year she has to attend a private mansion party where she leaves with her hair smelling like Hungarian ball sac. It’s in the contract. Later paragraphs. The rest of the gig is pretty sweet. You get paid to be super slender and sexualized for female buyers in female magazines who will promptly demand men stop objectifying women. Who’s encouraging girls to barf up their Lunchables again? I miss the days when advertisers encouraged buyers to reach for the mediocre and plain. Those pink thongs won’t help you get an engineering degree. But you’ll mary well. Remind us what the goals of feminism are again?

Photo Credit: Guess