Charlie Sheen Ever the Romantic

Brett Rossi, the porn star turned America’s sweetheart for nearly catching The AIDS from Charlie Sheen, is suing Sheen for a google and half dollars for pain and suffering and a metallic smell that simply won’t go away. Sheen’s legal team insists that Rossi signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement that states that if she’s displeased with Sheen in any way, say, as a completely random for instance, he’s HIV positive and doesn’t tell her before fucking her bareback, she has to go to arbitration with him and can’t file an open court lawsuit. Rossi claims she was pressured into the NDA which would make it null and void and allow a shit ton of other escorts to sue Sheen in open court. Rossi explained the process of her first encounter with Sheen:

Rossi said she arrived at Sheen’s house “already nervous and uneasy about the circumstances at which I was there.” She entered through a garage, where she was greeted by his personal security. Then, I was escorted into the security room where, inside of the security room there are tons of monitors and security cameras. I was forced to give up my cell phone as well as hand over two forms of ID so the security guy could make copies of it, and I was told I must sign the NDA before I was allowed to go upstairs to meet Charlie. Rossi said Sheen then paid $10,000 her to have sex that night. She said the two started dating, and were engaged in January 2014, before splitting later that year.

I’m a sucker for a romantic ending. I mean the ending before everybody dies with painful blistering pustules on their neck and anus. You want to root for Rossi to get her pound of infected flesh. On the other hand, she’s a porn star and hooker and clearly lying about being nervous and uneasy about the circumstances why she was at Sheen’s house. Disgusted with yourself, yes. Uneasy, no. Had you known he was going to drop a lethal viral load into your bare snatch for $10K, then uneasy becomes more believable. Isn’t this the point at which a judge steps in and determines the greater good for society is to shuffle both off to Guantanamo. That is why we can never shut the place down.

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