Ashley Judd Has Plans for Her Ambassadorship

Ashley Judd was appointed as Goodwill Ambassador by the United Nations. So you know it’s not an important or meaningful position. A press release stated that Judd is “a passionate advocate of the right of every girl and boy to enter adulthood safely.” Bold stance. Judd also went on to say, “Being a girl is not a crime.” Now you’re just speaking crazy.

Human rights are a myth. Like the clitoris. No one is entitled to anything. Should we provide lots of shit, like water and shelter and medical treatment, because we can? Arguably yes. But one-in-one-thousand sea turtles survives to reach adulthood, and all they ever did was be adorable. And tasty to Asians. No one owes anyone shit. Judd’s frozen plastic surgery face isn’ going to change that. The circus act is coming along nicely. If you fall on that guy’s dick I bet you still can’t smile.

Photo credit: Ashley Judd / Instagram