50 Cent Circling the Bowl

50 Cent is a phony tough guy. He filed for bankruptcy and promptly littered his Instagram with pictures of all his cash. A stash in the fridge, buckets full of money, an Indecent Proposal style cash-strewn bed sans naked hot chick with butch haircut. These insecure photos were accompanied by captions:

“Gotta keep a cool little $tash and some Effen Vodka Happy Holidays.”

“Buckets of Love [smiley-face emoji] [money bag emoji] no big deal this short paper. Lol”

I just ran that through Google translate. Ebonics to English. He’s bragging. The judge called him back to court to account for the undeclared assets in his selfies. 50 Cent and his lawyers claimed that it was prop money employed to maintain the image of 50 Cent’s brand. Also, that mansion he claims to own in Africa isn’t real. The largest home in Africa is a 400 square foot lean-to that floods out in the rainy months. Still, it gets HBO. How much for my Chelsea Handler sex tapes? My next birthday’s going to suck.

Photo credit: 50 Cent / Instagram