Zac Efron is Fire Proof

Somebody up there likes Zac Efron. Most prominently the studio executive standing above him shaking the last bit of cum out on Efron’s mug. Efron’s been cast in yet another medium budget “bro culture” comedy, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. “Bro culture” is a term promoted by breathless Cosmo bloggers and studio marketing departments to pretend that memes from gay frat house porn are pertinent to the modern masculine culture. By way of quick reference, your boyfriend doesn’t want to see Zac Efron movies. Not unless he has unsolicited comments on your formal wear.

Efron’s latest film is about two loser brothers whose dad forces them to bring respectable dates to their sister’s Hawaiian wedding. They inadvertently end up toting along two daredevil hustling street chicks who cause mayhem. So, Wedding Crashers without the funny or the nudity. The premise makes as much sense as the two male leads pretending they like girls. Tyler Perry in a dress can be explained by profit motive. Convenient for Perry. Zac Efron movies have no similar rationale. The next Ashton Kutcher is not a compliment. How do we keep electing Presidents who won’t make this stop?