Playboy NNSFW

Playboy released its first family-friendly issue. The cover featured Sarah McDaniel. She’s famous on social media which mean she’s half the cost of somebody famous on traditional media. Playboy’s trying to lure in the coveted millennial demographic who have socially evolved past the cheesecake shots of naked women bent over divans. Socially nervous boys raised on Ritalin and male shaming adapted at speeds Darwin never imagined.

Playboy argues that naked female pictorials have lost their value in an age when you can Google Fat Asian Chick Ass Porn and get 4.8 million results in 0.58 seconds. Playboy’s argument as to why you need to continue to pay for an aquarium without fish is less compelling. Men of a certain age retain warm memories for what Playboy Magazine used to be. Men of that same age also miss unlimited date rape and plug and play hairpieces. Time marches on. It’s time to squelch the bunny. Hef just filled his colostomy bag with tears. Look away.

Photo credit: Sarah McDaniel/Instagram