Nike Fires Pacquiao for Being Wicked Old School

Manny Pacquiao noted recently that gay people are worse than animals because animals know better than to fuck their same gender. He’s obviously never visited the monkey cages at the city zoo where the hairy little fellas tug the crap out of each other’s monkey cocks to pass the time. Nike has severed ties with the boxer because you kind of have to after the animals comment:

“We find Manny Pacquiao’s comments abhorrent… Nike strongly opposes discrimination of any kind and has a long history of supporting and standing up for the rights of the LGBT community.”

Sometimes, even employers of child slaves get to claim the moral high ground. This is what happens when your heroes are foreigners. (Ninety-percent of people born outside the United States are homophobic. Don’t ask for a source on that statistic. It just feels right.) You pretend that your sports brand ambassadors don’t hold horrific, antiquated opinions on race, ethnicity, and sexuality for as long as possible. When their true feelings emerge, you feign shock and outrage and self-righteously fire them. Don’t expect a nuanced discussion of cultural difference or the fact that Pacquiao’s views are likely the result of the bigoted brand of Catholicism we introduced to the Philippines in the first place.

For those who still didn’t know where to stand, boxing champion and human rights titan Floyd Mayweather provided the enlightened view , “We should let people live their lives the way they want to live their lives. To each his own.” It’s not every day that the black dude in the homophobia story isn’t the culprit. I knew Mayweather was gay.

Photo credit: Manny Pacquiao / Instagram