Miranda Kerr Seems Flexible

Miranda Kerr has that weird face that works if you’re a model because you’re instantly unique among the assembly line of similar looking female perfect faces. If she worked in IT at Verizon, she’d be called duck face behind her back even though technically hotter than any of the four other girls in the department. Kerr got into a noteworthy contract dispute with Victoria’s Secret two years ago and decided to hold out. Even franchise leading running backs know they eventually need to sign their NFL contract. It’s the only real game in town. Once a decade a player will sit out an entire season on principle then regret it as his wife leaves him and even his side whores don’t want to make babies. Victoria’s Secret is the Evil Corp of lingerie and swimsuit modeling. You could model in Dominican league for ten cents on the dollar but you’ll share a dressing room with girls with assault records. They will cut you over that eye liner, puta. Kerr has a nice ass and only let Orlando Bloom fuck her once to make a magic baby. If I were a wealthy man I’d hire her to lay in my front room and clean her privates with her own tongue like a cat. Yes, I’d offer health care. I’m not a monster.

Photo Credit: Richard Allen