Kobe Bryant Falling Down

Future NBA hall-of-famer Kobe Bryant dislocated his finger on Friday night in a game against the San Antonio Spurs trying to brace a fall on the court. The doctor on standby popped it back into place. The M.D. billed the Lakers $300 for his time. Kobe billed the Lakers $108,765 for his time. This must be why everyone says Obamacare isn’t working.

As the league’s official curmudgeon, Bryant can be heard lamenting the passing of the NBA’s good old days. Players were tough and the refs used to let them play. Players weren’t pussies who cried about marginal contact. Ballers didn’t laugh and shake hands with the opposing team. Players used to respect their elders, damnit! Makes you wonder what he would’ve said about a player who announced his retirement six months in advance in order to engage in a nation-wide farewell tour to bathe in the praise of other teams’ fans. Rape victims aren’t going to hold themselves down. Get that hand healthy.

Photo credit: Kobe Bryant / Instagram