Khloe Kardashian Purges

Khloe Kardashian Instagrammed a picture of a quote which is actually something people do now with a straight face. It’s like plagiarism for the unambitious:

You never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air.

Fuck, that’s so true. Khloe’s picture of a quote was accompanied by a rambling caption replete with empowerment language about finding the courage to walk alone and  how Cheetos are a medically recognized nutritional replacement for vegetables at meals. Solid advice from a woman who’s thirty and never left home except to have sex doggy style in the backs of men’s cars.

Kardashian’s leading edge of the bell curve followers began speculating who was making her life so miserable. So much easier than examining the same about yourself. The shortlist was formed by sorting names of not particularly successful but wealthy black athletes and entertainers currently locked in her basement next to the chocolate water fountain. Somebody pump Lamar full of adrenalin to rouse him for interrogation. Your fresh air smells like sweaty scrotum. You’re telling me it used to be worse?

Photo credit: @khloekardashian / Instagram