Kanye West Needs a Loan

Kanye West is in debt. Fifty-three million dollars in debt, according to his Quickbooks ledger and his Chicago primary schools mathematics. Many are feigning shock over the news given that West prints money every time he rhymes a word and suburban white kids continue to search for an identity. But see every other arrogant rapper, actor, or professional athlete for proof that you’re the idiot if you think this isn’t possible.

“I write this to you my brothers while still 53 million dollar in personal debt… Please pray we overcome… This is my true heart…”

West is a big fan of ellipses. Also lying. It’s unclear if this is a publicity stunt, a drunken rant, or just a con job. West reached out to Mark Zuckerberg to write a check to make Yeezy whole again. He then went after Google co-founder Larry Page for a billion and even The AIDS drug rap aficionado Martin Shkreli. Shkreli claims West offered to sell him his new Pablo album for fifteen million upfront which Shkreli claims he accepted but Kanye never delivered. Between Kanye West and Martin Shkreli, there’s no way to assess legitimacy. Just a desire to release the hounds.

Kanye must have a shit ton of assets and there are still plenty of dudes who will fuck his wife for five figures. Keep hope alive. This world would be far less interesting without its ass clowns.

Photo credit: @yeezyscloset / Instagram