Feminists Want a Win Before They Die

Aging feminists are literally dying to see a woman in the White House. Any woman. Hillary Clinton is the last chance. While Bernie Sanders clearly represents the more 60’s socialist dreamer wing of the party and Clinton represents the old school practical women who made a ton of compromises and concessions in their life for their lesser men, she’s got a vagina. Don’t think about it. Her Presidency is the last shot at symbolic victory.

Gloria Steinem among older scary plastic surgery riddled women have been accusing the factions of millennial women pulling for old man Bernie of being ditzy sell outs who just want to be popular among the hunky boys. That seems super sexist, mostly because it is. Also extremely politically convenient, like feminism itself. Figure out what you want then back into a sexist patriarchal male privilege argument why you’re not getting it.

Madeleine Albright upped the stakes while stumping for Hillary, speaking out to young women:

We can tell our story of how we climbed the ladder, and a lot of you younger women think it’s done. It’s not done. There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other!

Vote for Hillary or Beelzebub gets your soul? Those are high stakes. Also a circular argument if you’re the half of America who believes Clinton actually is the devil.

There are only two reasonably rationale reasons to vote for Hillary Clinton. Ted Cruz has an obvious penis nose or you just think it would be awesome to have a woman in charge because you’re not a student of history and unable to assess how that has meant zilch on the awesome scale in any other nation in the world where it’s occurred. Not even less war, as is popularly imagined. Clinton in particular is highly more likely to engage in overseas military adventures than Bernie Sanders from within the two Democratic primary options.

Gender politics are worse than racial politics because at least racial minorities are actual minorities. They are by sheer lack of numbers the de facto underdogs. For all the feminist errors of statistical omission, there are more women than men in this country. Also more college educated women. Also more women with breasts than men, though Bruce Jenner made it slightly closer. The straight rising line at which women are gaining power over men in this country is sharp, consistent and inevitable. There will be a female President at some point in the near future. Picking the sinister chick who has fucked over tons of women because you want to claim Pyrrhic victory before death seems rather shallow. What would Susan B. Anthony do? I mean, after all the closeted lesbian sex was over.