Farrakhan to the Formation

The good minister Louis Farrakhan has offered to protect Beyoncé  on tour since police departments around the country are boycotting their responsibility to take time and a half to stand idly about and drink coffee at her concert venues. The minister has said that if the police are unwilling to fulfill their completely voluntary off-hours duties, he will assign the Fruit of Islam (F.O.I.) to the task. The Fruit of Islam is the name of the Nation of Islam’s security branch, because they wish you would say something. Also, they lost a bet. ISIS cut them from their Ramadan holiday card list.

It is still unclear how Beyoncé‘s managers and lawyers will take to the idea of these riled-up Muslims being placed in charge of security. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Or serving bean pies at the concession stands. There are no winners in this battle of semantics. Unless Farrakhan is shanked while trying to maintain FOI ranks against marauding gay teen Beyonce fans in Tampa. Then we all kind of do. Allahu Akbar. Just in case.

Photo credit: Beyoncé / Instagram