Bella Thorne in A Bikini

Bella Thorne may just be the perfect modern day celebrity. Her stage parents forged her birth certificate like a Dominican shortstop so her chest size would track well for her casting age. Thorne’s got herself booked into a a ton of studio movies as the chick who can’t act but has a massive social media following. She has zero qualms about self-sexual objectification whilst delivering soft rants on feminism. The phrase untalented is loosely thrown around by people who don’t understand that the definition has changed. Can you act or sing or dance or tell jokes or entertain in any appreciable way used to be the mark for jobs on a cruise ship on up to A-list Hollywood. Now it’s 10 million followers on Instagram. Scoreboard, bitches. Watch my tits walk to the bank. You can’t follow where I’m headed.

Photo Credit: Snapchat/Instagram