That Carlos Danger Movie Looks Good

The new documentary about Anthony Weiner and his inability to stop masturbating on camera seems fairly gratuitous. But the disgraced Congressman’s wife, Human Abedin, is Hillary Clinton’s long time chief lieutenant and late night crusty hollow licker. That means distribution on Showtime in an election year. The film is premiering at Sundance this weekend where Clinton operatives will throw snowballs at the projector until it shorts then cry and remember it was Bill they loved.

You may recall Weiner got fingered by some PTA moms as the dude who was virtually spooging on their monitors while lamenting the fact that the Knicks were fucking horrible yet again. Weiner denied, then confessed, then apologized, then quit Congress and tended to his garden. The documentary picks up where Abdein urgers Weiner back into politics as a candidate for Mayor of New York because she’s ambitious on his behalf and sick of the azaleas being covered in her disappointing husband’s filthy man cum.

According to journalists who have screened the movie, Huma comes across as a callous, cold-hearted, conniving horrible bitch that couldn’t possibly relate to Hillary Clinton on any level. Weiner comes across as a guy who really really loves touching his dick because before the Mayoral race even hits full speed, he’s busted again chatting and stroking with more chubby young women on that damn computer that vexes him so. It’s unclear why the couple very openly allowed filmmakers to document their horrible people lives. They do seem to have a much nobler image of themselves than the general public does.

It seems unlikely this documentary causes any harm to the Hillary Clinton campaign itself. It’s akin to learning Charlie Sheen has The AIDS. If you happened to be one of twenty women in America fucking him bareback, it’s a huge concern. The other 330 million of us just kind of expected it and quickly made jokes. Charlie’s not dying. And Hillary will likely be the next President. Life isn’t ironic, it’s horrible. Watch happier films and try not to notice.

Photo credit: Vivid