Lottery Winner Robbed and Killed, No Way To See That Coming

God gave you everything he’s going to give you. Check your bank balance. That’s what the tools you’ve got have brought you. If you were meant to have half a million more dollars, you’d have been born with the skills to dominate at Pai Gow or invented a candy or doughnut themed app that fat women play all day. Having half a million in cash dropped in your lap for no good reason offends the higher power. The State of Georgia gave 20-year old Craigory Burch, Jr. that money simply because he was lucky. Now he’s unlucky. Do you see how that works? Random chance is a seesaw. Three dudes with guns just sat on the other end. That seems to happen a lot with lottery winners. It’s not the same with learned skills. They stick around for good. Stay in school, kids. I hear they’re super plush now with all that Lottery money. Thanks for the check ceremony promo pic. Can you send it out to the media along with my home address and hours I’m alone?