Khloe and Lamar Made a Sex Tape

Khloe Kardashian continues to pick over the carcass of her brain damaged husband for any last morsel of media attention. It’s like watching a vulture with a high priced publicity team. Kardashian is making the rounds of New York media promoting her upcoming talk show Kocktails with Khloe where she consumes a whole live pig left for her by the natives while giggling at prepared jokes from her remarkably gay male guests.

Kardashian’s maturation was stunted long before her head went through the windshield and stopped the clock forever. She finds it hard to relate to adults so in a pinch she lifts her dress and bends over a couch and thinks about marmalade. For media appearances she repeats a salacious story her mom made her memorize in the car. Kardashian shocked Andy Cohen with news that she and Lamar had made a sex tape. The film is locked in a safe next to the empty spot where Kim’s sex tape sat until Kris Jenner completed negotiations with Vivid. Everybody cheered and applauded and Andy Cohen mused to himself how Joe Biden’s dick would taste in his mouth and smiled insanely.

In my day, unattractive women knew better than to talk about their sexual encounters. It’s like a homeless guy Yelping his restaurant review of the dumpster. Lamar can’t speak so there’s nobody to stop this 200 lb twelve year old with the snorts. Somebody get Odom a chalkboard. Let’s see what you wrote here. Kill Lammy. Why are you handing me a pillow?

Photo Credit: FameFlynet