Kanye West Deep Into Ass Gate

Kanye West took to Twitter to deny he likes fingers shoved up his rectum during sex and while listening to his Jim Nabors records. In a calm and reason manner het let his fans know about his traditional values. He stays away from that ass area altogether. He went so far as elective surgery on a colostomy bag just so he could avoid shitting. Doctors check his prostate through a special flap on his right hip near his football playing injuries. He’s so not into ass it’s almost comical. Almost.

It’s tough to know whether to believe Kanye who talks and acts and has a reputation for freaky bedroom behavior in in knee high calf skin boots. Or the word of his angry street whore ex-girlfriend who uses her sexual encounters with Kanye as the top three accomplishments on her LinkedIn profile. The classic conundrum. Asking a man how long he’s been beating his wife is a leading question. Asking Kanye how long he’s been beating off while his lady friends go ten ben-wa balls deep into his shitter is simply not your business. He’ll let you know when he’s ready. Read your LGBTQUIYA literature. Is that a Gucci butt plug on your nightstand? I’m asking for a friend.