Jimmy Fallon Doesn’t Not Have a Drinking Problem

NBC Chief Bob Greenblatt responded to rumors that Jimmy Fallon has a drinking problem by adamantly denying Fallon has any such problem.

He goes out and has fun. He’s had some accidents.

Here’s a hint. When your girlfriend asks you if you’ve ever cheated on her, be certain not to say you go out and have fun and occasionally have some accidents. Bob, what an asshole.

Fallon’s after work behavior has come under scrutiny as he continues to damage small body parts.  In the past year Fallon’s lost part of a finger, badly injured a hand, and chipped a tooth. If you’ve ever had a wildly drunk uncle, your familiar with this pattern of trauma. CSI could probably tell you precisely which city’s pavement Fallon fell onto during each of those injuries.

Fallon’s drinking won’t be an official problem until he stops winning the late night talk show ratings. Tons of people drink. You’re not formally an alcoholic until your paycheck stops. Look for a hiatus followed by a heartfelt direct to camera confession. He’ll return half as funny. It’s the nature of the beast. Nobody likes a sober clown.

Photo credit: FameFlynet