Je Suis Starbucks Negro

The Starbucks Apology Department begged forgiveness for posing a colonial era black African kid in a loin cloth in their native Colombian coffee promotional display in London. Actress Thandie Newton Tweeted the anachronistic display after a million or so other Brits passed it by thinking it was adorable. Starbucks conceded the display was outrageous and not even particularly relevant to their Colombian motif which was supposed to feature more brownish colored jungle kids using coffee beans to smuggle raw cocaine to the Cali cartel processing labs.

The coffee retailer explained that the low number of black customers to their establishment was simply because black people aren’t stupid enough to pay four bucks for a fifty cent coffee. Which is a compliment. Thank you for the coffee in my sugar milk. Tell me again how steam kills calories?