El Chapo Ha Sido Detenido

You know shit has gone down when Presidents Tweet. Obama mostly trolls chicks and fat shames Amy Schumer. Mexican President Enrique Nieto announced he’d recaptured escaped drug kingpin El Chapo. He said ‘we’ actually so maybe like he and some other guy did it. My Spanish is actually pretty poor. It’s possible his Tweet says they had lunch together and discussed how much it would take to get him in a prison with pre-dug tunnels since his last escape cost him a small fortune in bulldozer rentals. Mexican politicians make Hillary Clinton look like the old lady who returns elven cents to a store because she realizes she got too much money back in change decades earlier. That’s a horrible analogy, but you get the general idea. They’re corrupt motherfuckers.

Nobody’s yet been able to identify what good comes of imprisoning the leader of a drug cartel. It’s not as if the sub-jefes in the business throw up their hands and decide to go back to working the back of the house at Denny’s. You can arrest a dozen greedy grifters on Wall Street every year. That won’t stop property derivatives from sending the economy into the tank. Still, politics is about the show. El Chapo is a good get, even the third time around. Alert the company in Mexico responsible for building hot tubs and futbol lounges in prisons. The little big guy is back. Viva El Chapo.