Antonio Cromartie Pays for His Seed

Plenty of guys get laid. Pro athletes get laid all the time. They don’t have Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie’s reproductive record. He’s obviously trying. Cromartie has eight kids by seven different women, not counting the two with his current chick, Terricka Cason. Cromartie just announced he’s having two more by way of twins with Cason. Odd since he claims he had a vasectomy. Very odd for Cason:

I didn’t even tell Antonio right away because I didn’t think it was possible. I was going back and forth in my head how it could even happen. In my head we were good to go, we were having free sex! I just really thought that his procedure was the best protection you could have at this point.

When you’re around so many gold digging women trying to get knocked up by your teammates, you learn a few tricks of your own. Free sex, huh? In the least, I’d ask to see the medical records.

Cromartie currently pays $336,000 a year in child support for the eight kids he’s not currently fathering. When you add the four more by the current chick who’s shelf life is likely waning, the tab climbs to well over half a million a year. He’s 31 and has maybe two to three more years on a fat NFL contract. Then he’ll get down to the business of figuring out how to pay that steep court order for the next eighteen years. Call a bankruptcy lawyer now to get the ball rolling. If the lawyer is a chick, resist the temptation to ask her if she’s ovulating then bareback her and pin her legs up in the air while your Santeria witch drains a chicken of blood and prays to the fertility gods. I know you thought a vasectomy was a European sports car. It’s not your fault. You never knew your daddy.