Miss Puerto Rico Shit Canned for Islamophobia

Last week secretly wealthy human fudge cake Michael Moore stood in front of Trump Tower in New York with a sign that read ‘We Are All Muslims” because everybody had forgotten he existed and he was in danger of disappearing. Moore’s self-righteous ninny campaign irked the reigning Miss Puerto Rico, Destiny Velez, into an exclamative response on Twitter:

Muslims use our constitution to terrorize USA & plant gas stations, there’s NO comparison between Jews, Christians & Muslims. Jews nor Christians have terrorizing agendas in their sacred books, all what Muslims have done is provided oil & terrorize this country & many others!!!!!!.”

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!! I mean, what? That’s at best seventy-percent true and a horrible plan to achieve world peace.Is that a Quaran you’re selling next to my Slim Jims and Mountain Dew? I realize you’ve always been Pakistani. How did we get here?

The Miss Puerto Rico committee consisting of Rosie Perez and a guy named Tio Sam running a Follow the Queen game in East Harlem stripped Velez of her title. She was ordered to dump her crown in the blue bin recycling. It’s unclear if Velez willl finish up her 19th semester at City College. It’s probably hard for a woman who won a big popularity contest to lose her trophy for expressing a crass but popular sentiment. Why is Michael Moore’s jelly roll ticking? Oh, no, he is a Muslim! We were too late.

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