Kelly Shibari Broke the Mold

Kelly Shibari is being hailed as a body acceptance breakthrough by hopeful feminists who haven’t seen her chubby fucked a thousand times on camera the past decade. Penthouse announced Shibari will be the first full-figured woman ever to appear in their magazine. Shocking mostly because Penthouse went bankrupt in 2013 and it was unclear they were still producing any copies. They got bought by pop-up fiend AdultFriendFinder. Apparently they know a guy who knows a guy who owns a printing press. This ought to be the big fat nail in the coffin. Still, HuffPo Women lacks irony:

Kelly Shibari is redefining beauty standards in the adult entertainment world!

Yeah, but no. The BBW fetish thing has existed since the dawn of Internet porn for those four percent of guys who can’t stop thinking about their fat aunt Barbara sitting on their face. There is no tidal wave of demand for forty-something obese Asian women. Porn remains almost entirely coked out waifish barely legals with their stepdads greasy paw prints stained in their panties. Kelly Shibari has 5,000 followers on Instagram. Christy Mack has 1.8 million. Virtual sex is the perfect meritocracy. Body acceptance is never coming to anonymously purchased entertainment media for men. I think I left my wallet in your…. yeah, that’s it. Thanks for not making me reach.