Jingle Ball Season Is Good for Light Skinned Minorities

Jingle Ball is the generic name used by the tour of pop radio station hosted concerts around the country in December. If you have a daughter or you’re a pedophile you probably know the schedule. The tiny former Disney teen actresses fronting the shows typically have their headsets and pre-recorded tracks and elaborate stage shows involving ethnically mixed light skinned twinks. There’s something naughty but extremely safe for suburban girls in getting tingly for sweaty anorexic dudes at 5’6″ who went through ESL. It’s black, but a safe black. Negro dancers still can’t play Orlando. Eurasian mixed Hmong and Colombian Vietnamese with a dash of Inuit. Can you do the splits and fake like girls aren’t icky? You’re hired. Seventeen shows in seventeen nights. You’re on the gay bus. Roll out.

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