Pamela Anderson No Longer Has The Liver AIDS

Pamela Anderson went on social media, Tinder, and Backpage Dubai to announce that our long national STD nightmare is over. She’s cured of Hep C. There was no comment on the related ailments of alcoholism, bankruptcy, and pink eye. Anderson posted a mostly naked photo of herself on Instagram to celebrate. Like a department store grand re-opening sign.

“I am CURED!!! – I just found out #nomorehepc #thankyou #blessing #family #prayer #live I pray anyone living with Hep C can qualify or afford treatment. It will be more available soon. I know treatment is hard to get still…#dontlosehope #itworkedforme#thereisacure #love #happy#americanliverfoundation #celebration#Idontknowwhattodo #iwanttohelp#cannes #iloveboats #onthesea #free”

I love boats too, sweetheart. Still, I’m asking for a blood test at a lab of my choosing.

Anderson claims she was part of an experimental FDA drug designed to cure women who’ve shared cocks and needles with Tommy Lee. The hoi polloi are complaining that the Hep C medicinal treatment cost a thousand bucks a pill and remains out of reach of your more common street whores. Anderson encouraged those working women to be super famous twenty-five years ago if possible. Failing that, anal will get you to your financial goals thirty-percent faster. If there’s only enough medicine for some of us, that medicine needs to go to the chicks who refuse to commit to reducing their risky behavior in the future. C’mon, Hef, give us some Hepatitis drugs if you please.

Photo credit: Pamela Anderson/Instagram