Kate Upton Enlarged

There’s rumors going around that Kate Upton is fat. It’s not a rumor so much as an observation made by people to scared to call it a fact. She’s getting thick again, even post-Photoshop. The bigger questions is who cares? I was going to say, just how gay are you, but not after France. Why don’t you make a list of all the times you turned down a good looking woman because she was a bit chunky? If you’ve got an exercise counter on your wrist you’re not in this conversation.

The world has adored fat chicks for eons. They carry their own luggage and when you’re a shitty boyfriend, they get sullen and eat quietly in the corner. Compare that to a raving skinny girl throwing your shit out of the window and running eight miles of angry. Anybody can be fat these days, but looking like Kate Upton and needing to drop ten to twenty, that’s the ticket. Cy Young Award Winner sperm doesn’t just fly onto any fat girls shoulder.

Photo Credit: Harper’s Bazaar Australia