Christie Brinkley Isn’t Aging, She’s Geologically Forming

I don’t know how fucking old Christie Brinkley is. But I’d ask her to keep her Methuselah hands hidden while you’re banging her in bed. Does your pelvic bone normally crack like that? I’m stopping. My safe word is ew. Brinkley has been out promoting her book which shares with other women the timeless beauty secret of being born with good genes and having gobs of money for the better plastic surgery. Short of that, consider a big scarf and going into the business of helping better looking women like Brinkley continue to look great. Less chiefs, more indians. It’s all in the book next to the photos of your grandma’s bridge partner half-naked.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet