Angelina Jolie Digging Menopause

November 24, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Amongthe benefits of descending into your basement laboratory and jigsawing out your lady parts is early onset menopause. Fuck those big pharma commercials where women are scratching their menopausal human shells into bloody shreds. Jolie finds it calming. Like a serial killer after taking a victim. Jolie claims menopause makes her feel all grown up. Jolie maintains that contrary to the opinion of every person ever, lopping off your tits and reproductive organs makes you more womanly. She takes comfort in her kids never having to hear, your mom died of ovarian cancer. Your mom is super creepy and makes shitty movies apparently not a problem. Also, car accident.

Photo credit: Getty Images

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