Yahoo Lied, People Died, Or Just Got Really Bored

Yahoo abides precisely because everybody errantly pronounces them dead. Like Jason. Or the Steelers every midseason. Yahoo partnered with the NFL over the weekend to stream the first ever pro football game online. The Jaguars versus the Bills live from London. I could add ten exclamation points and that still sounds like a matchup you’d want to export overseas. Yahoo claimed eight billion or so people watched. But in parsing the numbers, the actual was closer to five dudes trapped at UPS covering Sunday graveyard. Yahoo auto-played the game on its homepage and every channel it owns so basically anybody who visited Yahoo anywhere was counted as a viewer. Along with half of the Congo who believed they were finally getting online white chick porn. Snopes that shit, Congolese.

Ultimately we’re headed to universal streaming of NFL games for pay. Or free if you’re willing to download several malware laden executable files and your Russian is half decent. Yahoo still has the best looking CEO so they win. Pull the Yodel rope, Marissa, I try to spooge before game time.

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