Rich Actresses Backing Jennifer Lawrence

Several months ago a bunch of bloggers without facts of intuition started bemoaning how Matt Damon was being paid three suitcases full of cash more than Jessica Chastain for The Martian coming out in October. Now the movie is out and it’s clearly a Matt Damon movie starring Matt Damon being Matt Damon with an audience driving its currently $250 million worldwide box office because of Matt Damon. Jessica Chastain plays a pretty astronaut with perfect lipstick and a nice tight space suit that comes and goes in the film. Outside of the Chastain family, nobody is going to see this movie because of Jessica Chastain. She still got ten million or so, so woe fucking her tragic gender wage gap.

Emma Watson and Elizabeth Banks and a bunch of other actresses came out to ‘you go, girlfriend’ the Jennifer Lawrence lamentable tale of gender wage gap for rich actresses in Hollywood. Emma Watson cleared 15 mill on each of her final Harry Potter films, about $50 million for the movie series run. Her only movie series, from which she got cast as a twelve year old from among a bunch of other tween actresses to play the role that would run seven more films racking up big dollars. You could call it skill and ambition and talent. Or luck and fortune. Or I guess just sexism and victimization.

An E! reporter of dubious reporting skills asked Bradley Cooper what he thought about Lawrence’s complaints about pay on American Hustle and he responded that he hadn’t read the article. Which he hadn’t, because who wants to read one of your co-workers bitching about how you get paid more than they do. He realized he had to say something politically correct about the pay difference so he muttered something about there being a problem needing to be addressed while he imagined the house he bought with his higher pay and how many young models he fucked in the backyard pool.

Once impassioned celebrity essayists realize that men and women being different is by itself not the basis for lifelong hardship status, Lena Dunham will dematerialize and this planet will be 220 lbs. lighter and much much happier.

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