Nasia Jansen in A Bikini

Nobody has considered what’s going to happen to the gaggle of enhanced chest L.A. models with insanely insecure boyfriends when suddenly Playboy stops hiring nude models. Platform sandals sales plummet, as do small group Krav Maga lessons. Disturbingly glaring colored contacts vendors board up their stores. Are you in the undersized shiny bikini business? Congratulations, your first quarter 2016 sales just dropped by thirty percent. Unless another 100,000 Persian women migrate under political assylum, you might as well call it a day. We can pretend hoisting a bottled water on camera is many steps removed from hoisting a ponytailed dudes dick on camera, but two bedroom one bath beach-adjacent apartments shared with model friends don’t pay for themselves. Take a deep breath and let the next wave take you out to sea. It’s a noble ending.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet