Morrissey Airport Security Sex Tape Selling Well (VIDEO)

Sometime during Morrissey’s endless list of verbalized complaints about topics ranging from mushy peas to fair eco-trade practices in Sub-Saharan Africa, he spit out being manhandled in the junk zone by a TSA agent at the San Francisco Airport. If you listened to Morrissey’s side of the story, it read like a Burning Bed rape story where he was subdued and sodomized in the name of keeping not moderate Arabs from blowing shit up again. He relished recounting the story as it contained all his favorite subjects: his victimization and men fondling other men’s balls. He even noted he had legal action pending.

The video is out now. As much as it’s easy to hate airport security and TSA because they are incompetent boobs who steal your shit and finger fuck your grandmother and have yet to stop a single fanatical Muslim from boarding a plane because they’re not really even allowed to, this doesn’t look like the gladiator rape Morrissey’s been promising us through use of molestation puppet re-creation.

Does the occasional male TSA agent take the opportunity provided him to reach-around men he finds alluring and give a little pecker squeeze for Uncle Sam? Absolutely. That and seventeen union mandated meal and relief breaks during six hour shifts is the only real perk of the job. If Morrissey has to get an unrequested handy for the rest of us to know we’re getting to Denver alive, so be it. It sucks to be Anglo handsome and famous and sexually undeclared. Next time, bring a fake wife. It’s San Francisco, Steven.