Lamar Odom Fucked Himself Critical

Cowboys want to die with their boots on. Soldiers, in battle. Dudes who used to be married to Kardashians can only pray the hookers hide the narcotics before the EMTs arrive. Lamar Odom is closing in on being another notch on the reality show death list after being found unconscious and smothered in his own vomit after several days of drugs and perma-fucking at the Love Ranch in Nevada.

Whatever desire Lamar Odom had to live to see his various bastard children grow up was stripped away when he started plowing the fat Kardashian sister and agreed to be a part of the reality TV ruse. It’s been a steady descent toward motel room death for Odom ever since. Is it Khloe’s shrill voice and bologna scented vagina that he can’t get out of his head? Kris Jenner’s boozy come-ons and con job charities he’s trying to forget? Odom was once a super talented young number four overall pick into the NBA. Now he’s a mindless vessel filled with herbal viagra, crack, and gin. Upload the melancholy bumper music and book the key advertisers for the E! special. Wait until you see Caitlin in something fetching crying over his comatose body. He was going to die either way. Why not make some money for an unnamed charity.