Kardashian Love Saves Lammy

The good news, you’re alive. The bad news, you’re still married to Khloe Kardashian and she’s gnawing the dried remains of hooker girl juice off your right thigh. Lamar Odom regained consciousness in his Vegas hospital thanks to the adrenaline needle Kris Jenner plunged into his heart when E! producers chided that the Odom coma shots were super boring. The Kardashian family jetted back and forth between parties and appearances in Los Angeles to the Sunrise Hospital dressed in all black because the Whore Scouts teaches you always be prepared for a live TV eulogy special.

Kim Kardashian credited the power of prayer for bringing Lamar back to the world of the living. Members of the Kardashian family and a bunch of other chicks from their spinoff reality shows hit social media pretty hard with all caps religious shoutouts for the man they call ‘Lammy’. Lamar put on a brave face in his hospital bed and focused hard on the two emotionally damaged girls he spent three days ass fucking at the ranch. Does anybody know if this oxygen mask has a crack smoke setting? I’m going to need a bus schedule back to the ranch.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet