Bella Thorne Celebrates 18

Bella Thorne celebrated her eighteenth birthday, which may or may not have also happened a few years ago when her non-Dominican ballplayer birth certificate documented her the very same age. I don’t blame her stage parents for trying. She’s the third of three girls in a family that all moved out from Florida several years ago to toss their girls into a giant molestation pit and see who crawled out with decent money. The two older sisters crapped out at bit TV parts and scantily clad modeling for guys with remarkably fake European accents. Bella got the big Disney gig and learned to keep secrets extremely well. Her bank account is blowing up. I suspect the parents got theirs when they could. Once the repressed memories start pouring out, they’re going to be legally restrained from attending her first three weddings.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI