Texas Sorority Girl Turns DWI Into LOL

A student at Texas State University which only previously existed in football movies where they need fake college names refused a police breathalyzer in the parking lot outside a Waka Flocka concert. She was slapped with a DWI and some kind of citation for paying real money to see shitty rap music. Her dad also showed up at her sorority house and took away her car which surprisingly she didn’t pay for herself. Tara Monroe would not be defeated. She turned her arrest for drunk driving into a kitschy public spectacle, purchasing a motorized Barbie jeep she now drives around campus looking for cigarette butts and nickels to help pay off her bond. It’s super adorable.

This is the best way I could have gotten my 15 minutes of fame. Basically, it was the best decision I’ve made in college, yet…

Really? Even better than getting loaded at a Waka Flocka concert and offering to drive all the girls from Chi Omega home? What about that time you had unprotected sex as an experiment for science class to show that STD transmission isn’t one-hundred percent? Why do you look like you’re thirty-five? I’m not sure fake college is having the positive impact on you we had hoped.