Taylor Swift Disappoints (VIDEO)

Taylor Swift fans are disheartened their infallible deity was dramatically out performed in a guest duet by Mick Jagger summoned from his ancient tomb only moments before going on stage. Objective onlookers agreed that the ancient Jagger was also more fuckable and didn’t need to wear high waisted pants to hide his hippy figure. Taylor Swift trots out an assortment of celebrity guests every venue because even twelve year olds know that seeing a gangly chick with giant teeth and a limited vocal range isn’t worth the tremendous Ticketmaster service charges. It’s time for Taylor Swift to come out from behind the Oz-like smoke and vocal assists and start handing out gifts. Cheap medallions with incredulous origin stories won’t cut it. Toss cash and apologies. You had a solid run. Leave while really impressionable tweens who struggle with mathematics still have you on top. There’s always the comeback tour.