Jessica Alba Scares Her Dummies

September 3, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Jessica Alba takes occasional break from hawking chemical free diapers and tampons to blast Chernobyl grade gamma radiation at her face to cure her acne. If the tampons do this, there’s going to need to be a large disclaimer. Alba posted a photo of herself in the scary looking iron mask device on Instagram, causing numerous members of her below average education level followers to write panicked notes about her fate. If Jessica were to move to another dimension, how would they follow her and would they be forced to lose weight and start dating? Watch Fantastic Four again. It’s all explained in Illuminati for Dummies. I’d still fuck her with zits.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Tags: jessica alba

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