Candice Swanepoel Thong Thing

I’ll watch a kid with sausage fingers dominate on some nonsensical war game app just because he’s superior to a million other future fatty livers comprising the field. There’s just something special about watching a craftsman at the top of their game. This chick is the best lingerie model in the world. That body combined with that look like she just popped out of an alien pod and started asking if any earthlings can tell her about this whole fucking business she’d dying to try. It’s too good to be true. It is. I’ve heard she has combination skin and her jaw grinds in her sleep. Her vagina is filled Saginaw warts and until you’ve bedded a woman in Saginaw, please don’t dismiss this as inconsequential. Just leave her be. The Chinese robot guys will be by to pick her up in the morning. We almost had it all. I blame the imitation satin.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret