Rosie O’Donnell Daughter Isn’t Mental, Just Horny

When Rosie O’Donnell’s seventeen year old daughter Chelsea went missing from their Nyack, New York home she knew her daughter was running off to meet some sweet talking dude in Jersey she met on Tinder. That is why 99% of seventeen year old girls take off from their homes. O’Donnell was savvy enough to share this factoid with the authorities and where this guy might be living, allowing the cops to find her in pretty short order and embarrass her back home. To the public, O’Donnell declared her daughter missing, off her meds, and suffering from a sympathetic mental illness. It’s certainly a more Twitter friendly story than Chelsea hates nutso mom and her revolving door of wives and she’s taking off to get her own vagina romanced. Just going to get laid by a guy qualifies as mentally ill in O’Donnell’s frame of reference. Yes, doctor I pay in cash, I said she dreams of straight men and cock. Now get her on some benzos before she hurts herself. This is tough love. God forbid there’s a natural conception in this family. Who took my Whoopi dildo? My daughter is missing again? Fuck. I need to vlog.

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